I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
