i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
