That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Send help, water and tortillas.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize