Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
