Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
