we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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