I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize