i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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