Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize