i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My dad is sitting where you rode me
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
