You really coming over, don't trick.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
