She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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