fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
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I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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