Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You made out with two different species that night
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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