At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
