party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
