i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
