Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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