question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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