I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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