is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Everyone says I win the strip club
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
