she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
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Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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