My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
