using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize