Where is the hickey?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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