plz talk dirty to me
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
