I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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