I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
