Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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