You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
