Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
