Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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