Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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