Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
