I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize