He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
