Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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