ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
