fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize