Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
