Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
