You work out of a Hotel?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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