i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize