Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He better not be in your backpack
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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