I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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