I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
