Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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