I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
