I'm eating all of the evidence.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize