I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
