i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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