I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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