we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
