I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
