a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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