We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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