of course. lets lasso hookers.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
