I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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